Say hello to scene 2 of the second draft of the rewrite! This is where Charlotte decides to go to follow her goals after all and such. It's rough, still, but it's looking more refined. I've actually noticed that this might turn out to be longer than the original 102 pages I turned into ScriptFrenzy. I checked with my original pdf of where I was supposed to be at at this point, and it was about 13 pages. This new rewrite is rounding 16 pages. Fun fact for you guys, but I thought it was pretty cool. I might actually still be in my 100 page goal after my rewrite.
There is only 3 days left of the Frenzy. So to all of my friends who are still in the race to finish on time, I bid you all the best of luck!
INT. CHARLOTTE AND MCKAY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
TITLE: MARCH
SUBTITLE: 4 YEARS LATER
Living room with original paintings on the walls, wood
floors and decorative lights. A coffe table has scattered
notebooks on it. 25-year-old Charlotte walks into the
apartment, turns on the light, and takes off her shoes next
to the door.
Charlotte’s fish, FIMM, is swimming in his bowl on a table
in the living room.
CHARLOTTE
Hi, Fimm.
Charlotte opens up the bottle of fish food and sprinkles
some into the fish bowl. Fimm swims up to the surface
eagerly and starts eating the papery food. She watches him
eat for a bit then walks into her bedroom.
Charlotte passes a jar that says LOTTE’S TRAVEL FUND on the
side of it, and sets down a copy of THE SEATTLE TIMES on the
edge of her desks, next to a box that says REJECTION SLIPS,
filled with rejection slips, and a box that says ACCEPTANCE
SLIPS, which is empty. There is a pile of scripts and
manuscripts on her desk too. She sets down her purse, lets
her hair down, and closes her door to change out of her
TULIO waitress uniform. The door immediately reopens with
her in comfortable sweats and a t-shirt. She makes her way
back into the living room, sits down, and turns on the
television, biting her nails.
Shortly after, MCKAY, Charlotte’s younger sister, enters the
room, carrying a bag of groceries. Charlotte looks over her
shoulder at McKay, then back at the television.
CHARLOTTE
Hey Mac.
MCKAY
Hey Charlie. How was work?
CHARLOTTE
Fine.
(pause)
How’s the wedding coming along.
McKay puts the groceries away in the kitchen.
MCKAY
(groans)
It’s stressful, let me tell ya.
First of all, Chris still hasn’t
told his folks we’re getting
married. Secondly, I’m supposed to
get fitted on Thursday, and I have
a flower appointment Friday
morning. By the way, do you think
you can cover for me again on
Saturday?
CHARLOTTE
(spaced out)
Uh huh.
MCKAY
Stop biting her nails. I can hear
you from the kitchen.
CHARLOTTE
It helps me think.
MCKAY
It’s disgusting.
McKay shuts the fridge and walks into the living room. She
sees the mess of notebooks on the coffee table and gets
frustrated.
MCKAY
Oh my god, Charlie, if you’re going
to live with me you’ve got to help
me keep this place tidy.
CHARLOTTE
What? Oh...I do. I was just about
to do some work.
MCKAY
Can’t you do this in your room?
This is my living room too.
McKay starts to pick up the notebooks and look through them.
MCKAY (CONT’D)
What’s in these anyways?
Charlotte sets down the remote and sits up to stop McKay.
CHARLOTTE
Whoa, dude, stop. That’s mine.
Charlotte grabs them from McKay.
MCKAY
Chill out. What are you hiding in
there?
CHARLOTTE
Nothing. They’re just my old,
college notebooks.
MCKAY
What do you need your old, college
notebooks for?
Charlotte flips through one of the notebooks.
CHARLOTTE
I need a new story idea. There’s
several written in between notes
from classes and whatnot. I write
down every idea, no matter how lame
or corny it may be.
MCKAY
Haven’t you given up on novel
writing yet, with all of the
rejections you’ve gotten?
Charlotte glares at her and looks back at the notebook.
CHARLOTTE
I don’t know. There are stories to
be told.
MCKAY
But why not use a different medium?
Obviously, you’re not meant for
book writing! What about...art?
CHARLOTTE
(shrugs)
I’m not as good as an artist as you
are. I’d like to stick to writing.
McKay shakes her head and turns to leave.
CHARLOTTE (CONT’D)
Hey McKay, wanna help me pick out
an idea?
MCKAY
No. I have to work on my art.
CHARLOTTE
You can do it tomorrow. It’s late
anyways. Just help me for a second.
McKay groans and sits on a chair, sitting Indian style. She
reads the notebook.
A TELEVISION ANNOUNCER appears on the screen.
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER
Coming up, Kael Evans speaks about
his new film, Helheim, releasing
Christmas of this year. Crowds are
already talking about this
msut-see. Here is a sneak peek of
the interview.
Charlotte looks up at the television as KAEL EVANS appears
on screen, dressed in a purple, button-up shit with the
collar popped, jeans, and a pair of sunglasses on his head.
He’s in a studio.
KAEL EVANS (ON SCREEN)
I’m not surprised that things are
working out so well for me. I
always knew I would succeed in this
line of business. I hear people on
the street say, ’Have you seen the
trailer for Kael Evans’ new movie?
It looks amazing. The effects look
so good and the visuals are
insane.’ My response is ’Fuck
(television bleep)
James Cameron’s Avatar. It’s the
beginning of a new era, and Helheim
is gonna take the win on Best
Movie!’
The announcer appears back on screen.
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER
There you have it folks. As
colorful and arrogant as ever,
Evans already has people
pre-ordering their tickets for
Helheim, coming to theaters this
Christmas. In other news...
The murmur of the TV fades as Charlotte turns to McKay.
CHARLOTTE
Can you believe it? Kael Evans, my
old buddy in college, did it. He
said he’d make it into the
business, and he did it.
McKay doesn’t look up. She’s still reading.
MCKAY
His cinematography in Amsterdam was
trippy.
CUT TO:
A series of clips from AMSTERDAM:
EXT. SKINNY BRIDGE - AMSTERDAM - NIGHT
The night is golden. CHARACTER 1 runs on the bridge. Camera
is handheld, shaky, and following Character 1’s feet,
panning back to a full shot of Character 1 running.
INT. DARK LIT ROOM - NIGHT - CU
Slow-motion shot of smoke being exhaled from CHARACTER 2’s
lips.
Quick shot up to Character 1 and Character 2 smoking on a
couch.
EXT. RIVERFRONT - NIGHT
Character 2 is kissing Character 1 in a CANOE on the
riverfront, while CHARACTER 3 is standing off in the
distance watching.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. CHARLOTTE AND MCKAY’S APARTMENT
Charlotte is staring blankly at McKay.
CHARLOTTE
He was high the entire time they
filmed it.
Charlotte notices McKay still reading seeming rather
interested in the material.
CHARLOTTE (CONT’D)
Find something?
MCKAY
One of your lists.
CHARLOTTE
What?
Charlotte takes the notebook from McKay. She reads over what
she wrote 4 years earlier.
MCKAY
What is it?
CHARLOTTE
(hesitates)
I made this list 4 years ago.
MCKAY
But it says 5 years.
CHARLOTTE
That’s because this was a list of
goals I made to be accomplished
within 5 years.
Pause.
MCKAY
Well?
CHARLOTTE
What?
MCKAY
It’s only been 4 years. You still
could accomplish everything. You’ve
still got a year.
McKay leans over and looks at the date on the list.
MCKAY (CONT’D)
A little less than a year, but
still.
Charlotte gets up and paces the floor for awhile. McKay
watches.
CHARLOTTE
You know something, you’re right. I
made these goals 4 years ago, and
have done nothing but practically
the opposite of all of them. I can
do this.
McKay picks up the notebook and reads through them.
MCKAY
What are you going to do first?
Charlotte looks back at the TV where the interview with Kael
Evans has started.
CHARLOTTE
I still want to write. But maybe
novels aren’t my thing. Kael made
it in film, maybe I could too. I’ll
script write.
MCKAY
Okay, then for one, you need to
move to L.A. and get a job as a
writer.
CHARLOTTE
(laughs)
You don’t like me living with you?
MCKAY
It’s my apartment. I want my own
space, especially since I’m getting
married.
CHARLOTTE
I help pay for rent.
MCKAY
It’s still my place. I’m the one
going to school up here so Chris
and I can open up our own
restaurant. What are you doing
here? Mooching off of your younger
sister, that’s what. You’re a
writer. Go to where people write.
Charlotte nods, disregarding the hostile tone of McKay,
thinking everything over, biting at her nails. She stops
biting.
CHARLOTTE
Yes...yeah! You’re absolutely
right! I can get my own place, and
then, I’ll get a job, and get a
dog... It’s perfect.
McKay looks down at the notebooks and points to the
bulletpoint about Danny.
MCKAY
Was Danny that guy you dated in
college?
Charlotte’s eyes widen, and she looks almost despaired.
CHARLOTTE
Yes.
McKay rolls her eyes about him and looks back down at the
list.
MCKAY
That guy’s a dick. You’re so much
better off.
CHARLOTTE
(solemn)
I guess.
McKay looks up at her.
MCKAY
You don’t still care about him, do
ya, Charlie?
Charlotte sighs, then shrugs and winces at the question.
CHARLOTTE
No! That was like, four years ago.
McKay looks at her questionably, then shrugs.
MCKAY
Well, good, because he’s an
assface.
Charlotte nods and paces the floor again, biting her nails.
CHARLOTTE
Mac, I think I’m going to do it.
I’ve got one more year... I’m going
to accomplish everything I set out
to 4 years ago.
(pause)
And I’m going to start right now.
Charlotte heads for the door and walks out. The door slams.
A moment passes and she walks right back in, past McKay,
towards her room.
CHARLOTTE (CONT’D)
I realize it’s like 2 in the
morning. I’ll start tomorrow.
Charlotte closes her bedroom door. McKay just shakes her
head and changes the channel on the TV.
Wants To Write In A Catbus!
Kylee Q Brock
Kylee- I REALLY like this! I really love how you wrote their relationship. The end dialogue wasn't my favorite, but all the way up till then I really loved it :)
ReplyDeleteWhat part bugged you? But thanks! I'm glad you like it! This makes me very happy. I wish I had more time, and less drama, to interfere with me writing. I really want to stay on top of the rewrite. And it saddens me that I haven't blogged in forever!
ReplyDelete