It's official. I have started the rewrite process, FINALLY! Here is what I've come down to for the start of my script. Originally, I had Charlotte in the cafeteria with some of her friends, and they were all talking about where they were going to be in 5 years. But I never liked that beginning. So I took an old novel idea I had lingering, (and still have yet to finish, actually), and brought it to life in my script a little bit. Mind you, this is all fresh written material, and I may go back and change it in, yes, the third draft. Good thing I love writing so much. But here is what I've got.
[Yes Jana, it is Roezek. DEAL WITH IT!...Love you!]
Anyways, with that said and done, I have the first scene for you. It actually turned out to be longer than my beginning scene with the caf in the first draft, which is good! I may still be over 100 pages by the end of this after all. I just wish scriptfrenzy wasn't down so I could post things up on there, and so I could see how my friends were doing with their scripts.
Also, I have figured out my next task. First of all, I need to work on my second spec script, in case I get that amazing call from Nickelodeon in August that I made it to the next round, and I have to have a wonderful second spec ready to send afterwards. I'm still deciding what I'd rather write: Parks and Recreation, or Archer, and I love both of them a lot. Parks and Rec seems more difficult for me to write because it has such a particular story arc. But then again, Archer is incredibly vulgar, and almost too funny for me. Not saying that I can't take it's funny, but I don't know if I'm funny enough. So we'll see. I've got scripts from both, so lots of reading to be done this next week. Thank goodness that this challenge is coming to a close. Time to get back on the writing wagon, (since I took a week off and all). But besides the second spec, my next task is to finish my novel of "The Hatter" (I'll inform you guys about that one later), fixing up the script of it, possibly, although I might just try to sell it as a novel. It's a very particular story, very descriptive, and can't really be fully told in a script, at least not yet. But even yet, the next task, the point I've been trying to get to, is that my next big script challenge will be an animated one. I'm still playing with what the content should be about and so far, I've got two animated character ideas I'm working with: crabs, and ostriches. It's a little strange, okay, it's a lot strange. But I have a story idea in mind for the crabs, and I just really want to do an ostrich movie. I don't know why, but I feel like the ostriches have been neglected. I might even do a flamingo movie? I don't know. They're all just ideas, obviously. But more to come with that in later writing processes. For now, I'm just going to rewrite 5 Years From Now. After I make my tune-up, I'll share it with others to get feedback, and get it tidy and ready for the big city of Hollywood!
Slowly but surely, I'm making myself a nice portfolio of my work, getting ready to make big bucks, and my name in the credits. But we all know it's one step at a time, and luckily, I can walk for a long time.
Enjoy the beginning, and excuse the typos. It's late! And I'm very tired.
FADE IN:
EXT. BALCONY - EVENING
The sky is orange. The sun is setting behind the hills. The
castle balcony is overlooking a small town. KEREN walks out
onto the balcony, holding her crown, looking solemn. BEN
follows her.
KEREN
If you must go, I understand. I
will not hold you back.
BEN
Keren, please...
Keren turns around to face him.
KEREN
No, please don’t. Ben, I love you,
but...I guess this is for the best.
We’re two different people. You’re
a Roezekian, and I’m a Tyrent. Our
countries are in a war right now.
BEN
I can’t help the desires of my
father.
Keren looks down and turns back to the sunset.
KEREN
(hesitates)
Do you remember that night in the
woods?
BEN
(smiles)
Ay.
KEREN
I’m glad we connected that night.
Ben nods. He walks up behind her and lays a hand on her
shoulder.
BEN
There are things in this life that
are incomprehensible, unavoidable,
and...
Keren turns to face him.
BEN (CONT’D)
Unexplainable. My father’s desires
are not my own. As much as I am a
born Roezekian, I would like to be
a Tyrent.
KEREN
Ben, you have an opportunity to
save your life. If you join your
father’s army, you’ll be saved.
BEN
You don’t have faith in your own
army?
KEREN
(shrugs)
It’s not that I don’t have faith. I
hope, I dream, and I believe,
but...without you...
(bows her head)
There is no hope.
(looks up at Ben)
I spend 15 years of my life in a
dungeon cell, fending for myself,
fighting for my life. I’ve always
been independent, and I’ve done
fine on my own. That
comfortableness in independence all
went away when I met you. I feel
safe with you.
Ben smiles at her.
KEREN (CONT’D)
I believe because of you.
Ben takes her head in his hands. CHARLOTTE’s voice overlays.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
Ben takes her head in his hands and
says...
BEN
That’s why I’m staying.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
Keren looked at him, surprised,
eyes welding with tears.
Keren looks at Ben, surprised, her eyes filling up with
tears.
KEREN
What?
CHARLOTTE V.O.
Ben smiled and said...
CHARLOTTE V.O. AND BEN
To hell with my father. I am here
for you.
Ben gets down on one knee and takes Keren’s hands.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
Ben knelt on one knee, taking her
delicate hands in his. He looked
her directly in the eyes.
BEN
Nice ass.
INT. CHARLOTTE’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
21-year-old CHARLOTTE, petite and pretty, stares at an open
document on her laptop. The scene just described is written
as a novel on the document. She’s in her pajamas, her hands
on the keyboard. The cursor is blinking after "NICE ASS."
She hesitates and backspaces. She types:
"DID I TELL YOU I’M A HOMO?"
The cursor blinks after the line. Charlotte is half-smiling
to herself, biting her nails.
CHARLOTTE
Sappy love stories.
Charlotte clicks out of the document and opens up her
Facebook. She has no new notifications. She types DANNY
DINTSKIT into the Facebook search bar and opens up his
Facebook. They are not friends. Charlotte sighs, moves the
mouse over the ADD AS FRIEND button, hesitates, then clicks
home. She reopens her novel and scrolls up. She stops at a
line that says:
"IN FIVE YEARS, IT WILL BE THE END OF THE NEW WINTER, AND
THE WAR WILL BEGIN."
Charlotte looks at this line contemplatively and sighs. She
bites her nails and looks at herself in the mirror.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
Where do I see myself in 5 years?
Charlotte pulls out a notebook and starts flipping through
the pages. Some of the pages have randomly jotted down notes
with circled material, boxes, some with arrows, some with
doodles. One of the pages has a full drawing of Edvard
Munch’s "The Scream." She stops at a blank sheet of paper
and writes at the top:
5 YEARS FROM RIGHT NOW:
Charlotte bites the end of her pen.
CHARLOTTE
5 years from right now, I will... I
will...
Charlotte looks back at herself in the mirror.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
It’s hard to say where I’ll be in 5
years time. I have lots of goals,
lots of dreams. I’m not necessarily
what you would call a simple girl.
CUT TO:
A series of pictures of:
Holding a violin under her chin and tapping her foot to a
beat, stretching at a trapeze class, scuba diving with
dolphins, going off a jump on skis, setting up for a family
portrait, playing volleyball, eating sushi, painting a
portrait of a nude model, throwing tamahawks and knives,
driving go-carts, filming a man slapping another man across
the face, backdiving off of a waterfall, riding on a horse
over a jump, reading a novel in a graveyard, sock shopping,
and writing story notes on a wall covered in giant pieces of
newsprint paper.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. CHARLOTTE’S DORM ROOM
Charlotte is staring at her sheet of paper.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
I’m not complicated, just complexly
put together. I’m not a quitter,
and I’m not a failure. I’m simply
just a writer, a simply
well-rounded, audacious,
intelligent and experienced writer
that doesn’t know what she wants in
5 years time.
CUT TO:
Montage of several different shots of Charlotte in her room,
thinking:
Laying on her side on her bed, lifting a 5-pound weight,
laying back on her bed with her head hanging off the side of
it, biting her nails, dancing around her room, doing a
sudoku puzzle, watching a movie on her laptop, and drinking
a soda.
Charlotte sits back down at her desk and stares at the piece
of paper. She turns around to her roommates side of the
room.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
For starters, I will have my own
place.
Charlotte writes it down.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
(pause)
I will have a novel published.
Charlotte writes this down. She continues to write as ideas
come to her.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
I will...have a dog, will have
finally traveled out of the
country...will be a successful
writer.
Charlotte looks at the short list she’s created and opens up
a drawer, finding a small picture of her and Danny under the
clutter. She looks at a piece of paper taped above her desk
that says:
I HOPE. I DREAM. I BELIEVE.
In her handwriting. Charlotte looks back at the picture of
her and Danny.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
I hope. I dream. I believe, in us.
Charlotte looks directly at the camera and hesitates.
CHARLOTTE V.O.
And I will be married to Danny.
Charlotte looks back at the list and writes this down. She
pauses a moment, then writes the date:
2/18/11
MAIN TITLE: 5 YEARS FROM NOW
Happy Sabbath! Happy Weekend! Trapeze Tomorrow! Home Tomorrow! Happy Easter! And Happy Writing To All!
Kylee Q Brock
This is great Q!! I didn't realize you changed Kristin to Keren, but I kinda like it :) I really like this intro :)
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